


Siren's Call

by lindseyluvsdrag



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 18:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16582013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindseyluvsdrag/pseuds/lindseyluvsdrag
Summary: A story I began writing inspired by another fic that I read years ago. Let me know what you guys think of it so far!





	Siren's Call

**Author's Note:**

> A story I began writing inspired by another fic that I read years ago. Let me know what you guys think of it so far!

_I always knew that my life would end like this. And for some reason...I don't mind dying for the sake of being me._

_\---_

_London, England 1775_

 

I felt nauseous and it wasn't simply because of my father's whiskey coated breath blowing in my face as he spoke. It was my wedding day.

 

“No funny business, Jason,” he warned for what was probably the fifth time that morning. I'd lost count.

 

“Father, I-”

 

He forced the air out of my throat when he constricted my neck with the ceremonial frill. It was tradition for a father to aid his son on this allegedly special day, but for my father, this arranged marriage was his last resort in molding me into a model 18th century man.

 

“No funny business,” he repeated. “No goofing off. No gags. No-” he stopped abruptly to search my pockets and I groaned internally when he found my spinning tops. My father snarled as he angrily tossed them across the room. “You're eighteen now! When are you going to start acting like it?!”

 

I flinched.

 

“God, you're hopeless,” the man groaned, giving me another dose of his whisky breath. “But my advice to you: be kind to the little wench. Her father has more money than either of us could ever dream of. This marriage is saving me from my debt so don't screw it up,” he ordered, emphasizing the last few words paired with sharp pokes to my chest.

 

“Yes, Father,” I obediently replied.

 

“Good. Go take your place. She should be here any minute.”

 

My feet felt like they were made of lead but I mustered up the strength to move them until I was positioned next to the balding priest.

 

As I waited for a woman that I'd never even met before to become my wife, my mind couldn't help but wander. _What if she's horribly fat? Or has the face of an ogre? I mean, if her father is so rich, why was she being arranged to marry me?_

 

With long limbs and a gangly strut, I wasn't the most masculine fellow in the world but I had desirable features. My pride and joy, my dark shoulder length hair, was stuffed underneath the itchy powdered wig. It was the very wig that my father had worn on his wedding day when he married my mother. And it was the same wig that he'd worn to her funeral when she died.

 

Besides her golden hair and hugs that could protect you from anything, I don't remember much about her. After she succumbed to illness, my father was never the same. Drinking his weight in whiskey and constantly wagering his farm in a pathetic card games had left him virtually penniless. I guess I was his saving grace.

 

My father would kill me for saying it, but I had no desire to be married. I never have. The interests that I possess fill the space in my heart where a spouse should be. I-

 

“Jason!” my father called as he snapped his finger. “Look alive.”

 

Just as I adjusted my posture, the church doors opened and the veil protected woman began to make her way down the aisle towards me. I nervously cleared my throat but as my bride to be stepped closer and closer, I couldn't help but admire that elegance of her gait. The open-fronted silk gown with a train and matching petticoat that made her look three times bigger than she actually was a fashion statement which I admired. I was drawn to the pale blue color and the shiny, silver beading that was embellished all over it. The dress alone could've paid a year's worth of my father's wages and I slowly began to understand just how much this marriage meant to him.

 

The woman stopped when she made it next to me. She smelled of lilies and rose water, a nice change from booze and manure.

 

“Here we are today to bring together in holy matrimony…”

 

The second that the priest began to speak, my mind began to wander. _So this will be my wife, huh? So... we'll live together? Damn... I hope she can cook._

 

“Jason?” the priest impatiently pressed.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Well, do you?”

 

“Do I what?” I gulped when I heard my father  snarl.

 

“Do you accept Farrah as your wedded wife?”

“Oh...yes.”

 

“And do you, Farrah, accept Jason as your wedded husband?”

 

“I will,” she replied. Her voice was soft and sweet like a canary.

 

“You may exchange rings.”

 

I watched her small pale hands as they retrieved the loop of gold from the coin purse that was strung around her wrist. She reached for my left hand, grabbed it and slid the gold onto my ring finger. It barely fit, but she somehow made it work without hurting me. In return, I fiddled into my pockets and nearly had a panic attack when I didn't feel the ring.

 

“Your breast pocket,” my father reminded in a loud whisper.

 

I nodded as I began to dig into the small woven pouch on my chest. When I pulled out my mother's ring, my heart began to swell. The small band of silver wasn't much, but it was all that I had left of her. Farrah offered her hand so I took it.

 

 _Soft like a baby_ _, I_ immediately thought. It was obvious that she'd never seen a hard day’s work in her life. _That's a good thing, I suppose._ The ring fit her without issue and after it was in place, the priest went on with the ceremony.

 

“If anyone feels as though these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

 

I glanced over my shoulder to see my father nervously searching for any signs of protest but I scoffed to myself. The pews were so barren that the only person in line to object would've been the hunchback baker that sat in the last row waiting on his final payment for the cake that he'd made for us.

 

When the silence in the church continued, the priest swiftly finished up.

 

“Very well then. I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

 

My heart pounded against my chest in anticipation of what I'd see next. With shaking hands, I grabbed the laced edge of the woman's veil and slowly peeled it back to reveal the youthful face of my bride. Her golden curls were pushed back off of her face to accommodate the weight of her veil and various other decorative headpieces that she adorned. The batting of her long eyelashes that could've created enough wind to cause a tornado paired with the crimson flush in her cheeks on a wrinkle-free face led me to believe that she was no older than fifteen years of age.

 

She was clearly as nervous as I was, if not even more so. We stared at each other for a long minute before the priest repeated his last line.

 

The girl, so I've decided to call her, was technically beautiful but I had no desire to kiss her. I suppose that she could sense my hesitation so she initiated the deed herself, leaning in as far as she could until her lips met mine.

 

“There it's done!” my father cheered at the now legally bound union.

 

The three people in the congregation offered their applause before they began to toss rice at us. Farrah giggled and clung to my arm for protection while we rushed out of the front doors of the church. The celebration was set to continue outside with our cake, a fiddler and plenty of dancing.

 

I licked my lips as I approached the three layer cake that had been frosted with delicate swirls of white icing. The last time that I'd seen a creation like it was…well, never actually. The sweets that my father  purchased from the baker were usually the bottom scraps and burnt bits of cakes and muffins that had accidentally been left in the oven too long.

 

“To the bride and groom!” a boisterous voice I'd grown to recognize as my new father-in-law cheered. He clinked glasses with my own father before they each downed their fair share of wine. My mother-in-law had refused to attend the ceremony after several months of protesting that her daughter was beyond too good for me. Maybe she was right.

 

“Shall we dance?” my wife's soft voice asked.

 

“Urgh, I actually wanted to partake in eating this cake first.”

 

She almost seemed disappointed. “Oh…”

 

“I mean, you could dance with your father.”

 

“I suppose you're right.” Farrah rustled in her massive dress as she turned on her heel and made her way to the grassy knoll that'd been designated as our dance floor.  

 

When my father saw that I'd sent the woman away, he quickly rushed over to me.

 

“What in bloody hell do you think you're doing?” he huffed.

 

“Getting cake. Would you like some?”

 

“You should be with your wife. Do not let her leave your side!”

 

“But she wanted to dance and I wanted to eat so I just told her to…” I simply gave up when my father gave me that look.

 

“She's still young. You must train her. And that doesn't include stuffing your mouth,” he snarled as he snatched my plate away. “Be a man for once in your life.”

 

I thought the moment that I had said 'I do’ would be the moment that my father would begin to ease the pressure, but I was wrong. I frustratedly turned on my heel and began to make my way to where my wife was being spun by her father.

 

“Hooray!” Farrah cheered as she pulled out of the greasy, middle aged man's clutch in order to grab my hands. As I tried to match her tempo, the clumsiness of my two left feet quickly took over and sent me to the ground.

 

“Timber!” my father-in-law howled in laughter while my own father shot embarrassed daggers in my direction. I felt uncomfortable laughing at myself as Farrah helped me up since I couldn't even do that right. Before I could turn as red as a beet or be reprimanded, Farrah began to squeal.

 

“Is that your horse and carriage?!” she asked when she saw the state of the art, gold trimmed buggy attached to my horse approach.

 

“That's my stallion but that's definitely not my carriage,” I informed with a soft, admiring whistle at the glimmer of the gold in the sunlight.

 

“It is now,” my father-in-law said as he approached from behind. “My gift to the newlyweds.”

 

“Oh, thank you, Papa!” Farrah squealed again as she threw her arms around him. “It's marvelous!”

 

“Only the best for you, my darling. Now go forth and be fruitful.” The man gave my shoulder a firm pat. “I expect a grandchild soon. Let's just hope your dancing in the marital bed is a lot better than your dancing here.”

 

As the man wheezed in laughter, I fought the grimace and replaced it with a smile as Farrah pulled me along to the carriage. She climbed in with the help of the driver without hesitation while I paused.

 

“We didn't get to eat any dinner...or cake.”

 

My wife shrugged. “We could get a chambermaid to cook for us.”

 

“Orrr we could eat this perfectly good food here and not let it go to waste.” I turned and rushed back to the table that held the cake.

 

“Jason, what in bloody hell,” my father snarled. “Get in the carriage!”

 

Despite being within arms reach of the man, I took the risk of grabbing a fistful of cake. “I love you, father!” I shouted as I put the summer of training horses to use in order to sprint away.

 

After carefully climbing in next to my bride, our driver returned to the front of the carriage and began to speed away. Farrah excitedly spoke to me about various topics but I was too engulfed in my cake to care. By the time I'd gotten down to licking my fingers, the carriage was slowly pulling up to the nicest home I'd ever seen.

 

“Whose house is this?”

 

Farrah giggled. “Ours, silly! It used to be one of my father's summer homes, but he's given it to us to live in.”

 

“Oh…” I nearly felt guilty for accepting the extravagant gifts from my father-in-law but I figured that since I hadn't discovered what I wanted to do with my life just yet, getting things handed to me like upper crust gentleman would just have to do. My interests seemed to include everything and nothing at all. One week I'd indulge in the art of being a blacksmith and the next, I'd try my hand at being a toy maker. The only consistent thing in my life included my love for beautiful things. I could spend hours appreciating a sunset, the way a flower bloomed or the detailed process of how women got dressed every morning. I seemed to have an attraction to them that I couldn't help but notice wasn't sexual. I was simply amazed by the way they spoke in velvety voices. Dazzled by their incredibly manufactured silhouettes that were usually draped in silk and elegance. And absolutely mesmerized by the way they carried themselves; divinity in motion.

 

Proof of this seemed to come when Farrah led me through our home and nothing but her several trunks of clothing caught my eye. I wouldn't dare ask about examining the contents after the traumatic experience of being caught in my mother's old petticoat by my father a few years back. I still had scars on my back that the crack of his whip left behind.

 

I closed my eyes to suppress the triggering memory as I fell back onto the plush, cloud-like creation that was being used for a mattress. I could only take one deep breath before I felt movement. My eyelids flew open and I watched as my bride nervously climbed onto the bed next to me.

 

“Hi,” she chirped in a way that I couldn't tell if she was just being friendly or trying her hands at seduction. If she was climbing into bed with me, then it must've been the latter.

 

“Farrah...look. I-”

 

“Could you help me out of this garb, please?” she pleaded as she stood and turned her backside to me.

 

I gulped. Moreso because it was an opportunity to get my hands on the tightly laced strings that created her overly cinched shape. I probably shouldn't have been more excited to discover how the gown worked for research purposes than marital duty purposes.

 

 _Bow...tie...pull...tuck_ , I thought, mentally noting each step that went into the process of becoming a beautifully silhouetted woman.

 

When the corset was loose enough, Farrah wiggled out if it. Her skirt was the next to go and then it was something I could only compare to a cage. I was completely fascinated. The girl continued to remove articles of clothing until she was left in nothing but her pantaloons. “That's better,” she exhaled. “Thank you.”

 

“You're welcome,” I said dismissively as I examined the intricate beadwork on the bodice of the garment before Farrah grabbed it from me and placed it on the nightstand. After she did, my bride turned to look at me through a curious gaze that made me gulp.

 

“Farrah...how old are you?”

 

“I'll be sixteen in a month,” she proudly chirped.

 

 _Just as bad as I thought_. “Listen, Farrah...I can't…do...wit-”

 

“Pillow fight!” the young teen squealed as she grabbed the goose down pillow.

 

Before I could even process the declaration or the relief I felt that the girl didn't have love making on the brain, I was arming myself with two pillows to fend off her attacks.

 

The laughter that poured out of the girl was innocent and infectious. I gently swung my pillows in every direction in order to defend myself but Farrah, clearly a pillow fighting expert, quickly got the upper hand. She plopped me on the head so hard that my powdered wig was sent flying to the floor.

 

“I’m sorry!” she exclaimed. “Is that your hair or do you have the mane of an Arabian horse atop your head?!”

 

I used one hand to fluff out my dark ebony tresses that flowed well pass my shoulder blades. “Product of brushing every morning and night as well as rinsing it with rice water when I bathe.”

 

“Rice water,” she said in disbelief. The girl approached and ran her fingers through my waves. “And it's softer than a bunny!”

 

I gave a proud nod.

 

“May I braid it?”

 

 _Anything to keep me out of bed with her,_ I thought. “Yes, you may.”

 

I sat on the edge of the bed while Farrah fetched an ivory toothed comb. She spoke as she ran the comb through my hair.

 

“My sister has thick, beautiful hair like this. I've always enjoyed styling it in different ways with ribbons, gems, stuffed birds and even tiny chandeliers like Marie Antoinette,” she said with a giggle.  

 

“That's incredible! And...that's what you're doing now?” I asked, doing my best to suppress my eagerness.

 

“No, silly! That's for women.”

 

“Well, it's only for pretend. It's not like I'm going to go out with birds and chandeliers in my hair,” I retorted defensively.

 

Farrah laughed. “I suppose you have a point, my dear husband.”

 

Before I could cringe, Farrah whacked me with her pillow, sending goose feathers all about the room.

\---

After removing the last feather from my mouth, Farrah flopped onto the bed.

 

“I'm tired,” she sighed.

 

“I'll let you get some sleep.”

 

“But I don't want to,” the girl said as she sat up on her elbows.

 

“Wh-Why not?” I stammered. “If you're tired, you should definitely rest.”

 

“But don't you want to-”

 

“Oh my!” I exclaimed just to deter her from what I thought she was going to say. “It must be the air because I'm quite tired too.”

 

“Then you should get some rest too,” my bride assured. “Next to me.”

 

I wanted to palm my face for walking right into that trap.

 

“Farrah... I don't want to rest next to you because I'm afraid of what it may lead to.”

 

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“You're... really young. I just don't want to,” I exhaled, “you know...consummate this marriage anytime soon.”

 

The girl wrinkled her nose in confusion. “What does consummate mean?”

 

I'm sure I was just as red as the hues of crimson in the setting sun. “It means that I don't want to...take your virtue.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Please don’t be upset or tell my father. Farrah, I-” I abruptly stopped my pleading when the girl seemed to sigh in relief.

 

“My mother told me that my virtue would be all I could offer a husband,” she said quietly.

 

“That's not true. A husband should appreciate his wife for her beauty, her mind and her heart.”

 

Farrah offered a soft smile. “And you appreciate me for those?”

 

“Yes,” I said convincingly. “But I'd appreciate you even more if you'd finish my hair.”

 

She laughed and patted the spot on the bed she wanted me to sit on as she retrieved her comb once again. As Farrah began to style my tresses, there was a nearly tangible tension that I could feel emanating off of her. Before I could ask what was wrong, she spoke.

 

“I wasn't ready to consummate this marriage either. I need to wait a while.”

 

I couldn't dare tell her that I'd need a lot longer than 'awhile’ but I simply nodded and allowed her to continue to do my hair.

\---

“No peeking!” Farrah demanded as she led me towards the mirrored vanity.

 

I squeezed my eyes closed even tighter. “I'm not.”

 

“A little this way...anddddd okay, open.”

 

I opened my eyes and gasped. I couldn't believe the way the girl was able tuck and pin my hair in that fancy, sky-high updo way that upper class women wore theirs. In addition to adorning it with freshwater pearls and white daisies, I'd never felt so beautiful. “Oh my, Farrah...it's breathtaking.”

 

The girl gave a proud smile but the more I admired myself the more suspicious she seemed to become.

 

“You do realize that this is a woman's hairstyle, right?”

 

“Yes,” I said under my breath.

 

“And this is just for fun? You don't want to wear it like that outdoors?’

 

“Yes for fun, no for outdoors,” I said in exasperation. “What do you think I am? One of those sinners or something?”

 

“No,” she quickly assured. “I just thought you were having a bit too much fun being dolled up like Catherine the Great.”

 

I did my best to hide the chagrin but before I could defend myself, a mischievous smile crept across Farrah's face.

 

“Good thing I like having too much fun.”

 

I smiled. “May I please see what's in your trunks?”

 

The girl grabbed my hand and began to pull me along. “I thought you'd never ask!”

\---

6 months later

\---

As Farrah tightened her corset around my waist, I couldn't help but get the same rush that I did the first time she morphed my body by the whale bone lined cincher. After that was a petticoat, full skirt and a face full of white powder to match the ivory dust that saturated my hair in order to capture the essence of the very women that I'd admired so much throughout my life.

 

Getting dressed up in the most extravagant outfits that Farrah owned was both of our favorite pastimes. She had given me the name Violet Chachki, Princess of Wales while she became Farrah Dardo, Duchess of York. We'd pretend to go to tea parties or royal functions until we both burst into laughter.

 

Shortly after her 16th birthday, Farrah made attempts to make love to me, but my constant stuttering and excuses finally allowed her to get the hint. And despite not sharing physical intimacy or having kissed since our wedding day, my relationship with my wife had grown so strong that I couldn't call her anything less than my best friend.

 

“Oh, my dear Duchess, how do you dooooo?” I asked in an overly posh accent as I poured Farrah a glass of tea.

 

“Oh absolutely wretched, darling!” she dramatically replied. “I’m just nearly torn to pieces over what to wear to the Earl of Wales annual ball.”

 

“Don't worry, love. The Earl doesn't have balls.”

 

We burst into cackles just as pounding sounded at the front door.

 

“Shit,” I said in a panic as I went to my usual hiding spot while Farrah made her way to the door.

 

Typically peasants looking for a handout as rumors spread that an overly posh woman lived there, I didn't want to take the chance that it was one of our family members. But just my luck,Farrah opened the door and gulped when she saw my father.

 

“Hi, Paul!” she chirped. “How are you?”

 

He made a face. “Why are you dressed like that? Going somewhere?”

 

“Oh, no. I was just doing some cleaning.”

 

“In that garb?” he asked in disbelief. “Why don't you hire servants? I know your father is funding a beautiful lifestyle.”

 

“Um-”

 

“Speaking of which, where is my son?”

 

I forced myself even further in my hiding spot.

 

“He's not here.”

 

“Where is he?”

 

“Ummm-"

 

Based on that, he knew that the girl was lying. The man aggressively stormed past her. “Jason, I know you're here and I'm not leaving until I speak to you!”

 

The clatter of his boots against the hardwood as he approached made me want to jump out of my skin. I had nowhere else to hide and the only option out was the window. Luckily I was on the first floor. I pushed the glass panel open and struggled to fit my massive skirt and modified hips through the small space.

 

Just as I'd wedged myself into the narrow area, my father stomped into the room.

 

“Oh... Farrah, I didn't realize that you had company.” He quickly made his way over. “Are you stuck, ma'am? Let me help you.”

 

For a split second my delusional mind didn't think that my father would recognize me with a powdered face, lipstick and rouge as he pried me from the window. I was wrong.

 

When he saw me, he went so red in the face that I nearly suggested powder for him.

 

“So this is why you haven't impregnated your wife yet!” he exploded. “What in bloody hell kind of sick sinner's game is this, Jason?! You're an abomination! You're going straight to hell!”

 

“Father, I-”

 

Hearing my voice while dressed as a beautiful woman seemed to be effective in making the man snap. He wrapped his hands around my neck and began to squeeze with all his might. I clawed at his hands with my own but I was easily overpowered by the deranged man.

 

“Let him go!” Farrah demanded through tears.

 

When her pleads went on deaf ears, the girl had no choice but to grab the nearest hard object, a brass candlestick, and clobber him on the back of the head with it. The man instantly fell unconscious while I collapsed and prayed that air made it to my lungs in time.

 

As I gasped, Farrah attempted to comfort me with her touch but I recoiled and began to sob.

 

“I can't believe he did that,” she exhaled. “I'll have to get the police.”

 

“Don't you understand?!” I forced out of my sore throat. “You can't tell the police! They'll put me away and throw away the key just for dressing like this in the first place!”

 

Farrah simply pouted.

 

I pushed myself off of the floor. “I have to get out of here.”

 

“Wh-What? What do you mean?”

 

“Love, I'm sure you've noticed that I enjoy dressing up a little more than just as a play thing. It's what makes me happy. Beautiful dresses make me happy and I want to- I'm going to keep wearing them and I can't do that here,” I sniffled through tears.

 

Farrah began to process the information that she'd denied to accept all six months of our marriage.

 

“So you're... I don't know,” she copped out as she refused to say the word.

 

“Yes! I'm 'different’! And if I ever want any semblance of true happiness then I have to leave right now!”

 

At this point, Farrah had tears streaming down her face. “Then I'm going with you.”

 

I sighed in exasperation. “I can't let you do that. You have your family here and your whole life ahead of-”

 

“Jason, I'm in love with you,” she wept.

 

It pained me to hear the words that I knew I'd never be able to say back to her. “Farrah...you know that I'll never be able to return those feelings for you...”

 

“I don't need you to,” she said in an attempt to sound stoic. “I just need to be around you.”

 

I couldn't say no to the girl who'd offered no judgements as she allowed me to be myself throughout our marriage. “Okay, Farrah. We have to go now.”

 

She smiled as she wiped her eyes before grabbing my hand.

 

When my father let out a groan as he began to regain consciousness, Farrah yanked me out of the room and then out of the house completely.

\---

We ran a full mile to the market square before I had to stop and cling to a bread stand for support.

 

“Where should we go?” Farrah panted.

 

“I don't know,” I breathlessly admitted. “Just keep heading south, maybe?”

 

She weakly nodded. “I'm already so tired.”

 

I glanced over at the girl. Going on the run with a freak show who couldn't even kiss her goodnight was not a life she deserved to live. “Okay, love. Go get yourself some water out of the well and take a rest. We'll continue to go in a few then we'll catch the ferry to wherever it takes us.”

 

“Okay,” Farrah exhaled as she turned to make her way through the bustling market.

 

When she was out of sight, I turned on my heel and sprinted as fast as I could towards the outskirts of town until I made it to the harbor. I gripped on a wooden post in order to catch my breath and wipe my tears.

 

“You alright, ma'am?” a man's voice shouted from a distance.

 

I wasn't sure who the voice was talking to until I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

When I glanced up, I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the tantalizing blue eyes that stared back at me. The man was tall, muscularly built and absolutely stunning. He probably had to ask me if I was okay twice more before he waved a hand in my face.

 

“Wha-”

 

“I asked if you were okay, but based on your lack of responsiveness, I'm going to say no.”

 

“I'm not,” I breathlessly admitted.

 

He frowned. “Words that should never leave a woman's lips.”

 

I had almost forgotten that I was dressed as a woman.

 

“How can I help? Could I get you anything?”

 

I made sure to speak in the softest tone I could manage. "No thank you. I will be fine."

"'Will be' suggests in the future. I want to know how I can make you better now."

I stared into the man's eyes and something in them drove me to answer honestly. "I'm running away.”

 

Although surprise colored his expression, he didn't seem judgemental. "What are you running away from?”

 

“You wouldn't understand…”

 

He folded his arms. “Try me.”

 

I sighed before trying my hand at the best lie I could think of. “My husband beats me. I mean, I know I'm technically, under law, his property but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.”

 

“Oh…”

 

As my words trickled through his brain, I could see his expression change to represent what he was thinking. Terrified that he'd grab me and march me back to town, demanding who my owner was, I decided to cut my losses.

 

“See, I knew you wouldn't understand.” As I tried to rush off, I began to panic when he grabbed my arm. I tried to snatch away but he held on tight. “Let go!” I ordered.

 

“If you're running away, you're running in the wrong direction. Come with me.”

 

I was baffled. “You? I don't know you.”

 

“Well I did ask your name in attempt to introduce myself while you were still in that trance, induced by my good looks I presume,” he said smugly.

 

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

 

“What’s your name, beautiful?”

 

 _Beautiful? Was I beautiful?_ I mean, outside of Farrah's clothes, I knew that wasn't the case but in this caged skirt and corset, I felt like a goddess and it was nice to hear confirmation of that.

 

“Hello!” the man said in exasperation. “Are you in that trance again?”

 

“I’m sorry...my name is Violet,” I said so naturally that it felt as if I'd been using the name my entire life.

 

He smiled. “That seems fitting. I'm Daniel Donigan, Commander of the Royal British Navy.”

 

“Commander?” I asked in attempt to play dumb.

 

“Yes. That means I run this entire vessel. Nobody but God himself is above me. And then the Captain of course.”

 

I was impressed but not that impressed. When I had turned 18, my plan was to join the army but my father had other ideas.

 

“And there's my home away from home.” He continued as he turned and pointed at the massive ship that was constructed out of the best oak available with the word 'Victory’ elegantly painted along the bow. My favorite feature was the masterfully carved mermaid placed right in the center seeming to be the guardian angel over the vessel.

 

“It's beautiful,” I offered.

 

“If you're sure about this running away thing, then that's probably the best way to do it. We're headed to France this afternoon.”

 

“France?” I gasped. I had always heard about the elegant trends that poured out of the country but I would've never thought that I'd be able to go. “And what will you be doing there?”

 

“Meeting with the prime minister in order to discuss some things,” he said nonchalantly.

 

“Wow. So you're pretty important.”

 

He gave a light shrug. “Just trying to keep this beautiful land safe.”

 

I smiled and he teasingly scoffed.

 

“But it's not like you care, though. You're trying to run away.”

 

“Not necessarily away from Britain…just away from here,” I said quietly. “Anywhere but here.”

 

The commander extended his hand. “Then what are you waiting for?”

 

I glanced down at the man's palm as if it was a crystal ball showing my future. I saw this as the only opportunity I'd ever have to be out of this place. To be free. To be me. I placed my hand in his and he began to lead me towards the ship.

\---

Once aboard the vessel, I instantly became nervous as the men, who were rushing to prepare for departure, stopped what they were doing and stared.

 

I gulped but the commander held me close. “Get back to work!” he ordered. “Act like you've seen a woman before! I know some of you haven't but you need to pretend!”

 

“Yes, Sir,” they collectively mumbled before returning their attention to their set assignments.

 

“Come on, love,” he softly said to me as he continued to lead me past the men on the deck through a wooden door, down some stairs, then across a corridor to a room. “These are my quarters.”

 

I glanced around the basic room that was plainly furnished with a cot, a small dresser and a desk. I suppose the commander caught my expression so he proceeded to speak.

 

“I know it isn't much, but it gets me through the long weeks of travel.”

 

“It's nice,” I offered.

 

He chuckled.

 

“So, how long is the trip to France?”

 

“Few days to a week. Depends on how many stops we make.”

 

“Okay,” I sighed.

 

“Are you hungry?”

 

I shook my head.

 

The commander scoffed. “You don't have to play coy or pretend that you don't eat to impress me.”

 

“Well it's a good thing that I'm not trying to impress you,” I unintentionally sassed back before pursing my lips. The last thing I wanted to do was bite the hand that was attempting to feed me.

 

The man howled in laughter. “Well, if you don't want to eat, I can at least show you where you'll be sleeping.”

 

 _Oh my God_ , my mind shouted in relief. I hadn't thought about having my own room but the second that the man said it, it became a necessity in order to keep my secret safe.

 

“Close your eyes,” he ordered. I obliged. The commander grabbed my hands and began to lead me around. This went on for a few seconds before we stopped. “Ta-da!”

 

I opened my eyes only to see that we were back at his room where we started.

 

“You'll be sleeping here.”

 

I swiftly turned to look at him through panicked eyes. “Bu-”

 

He defensively raised his hands. “No worries, love. I'll sleep in the common area and let you have my room.”

 

I let out a physical sigh of relief. “Thank you so much, Commander Daniel.”

 

“Ooo, that title sounds so pretty coming out of a woman's mouth,” he said smugly.

 

“Pfft, you've paid prostitutes to say it before!” a voice shouted from down the corridor.

 

“At least they accepted my money, you boil!” the commander retorted.

 

I suppressed my giggle as he turned back to me.

 

“Sorry about that.”

 

“No worries,” I assured.

 

He smiled. “Well, make yourself at home. I'm going to get something to eat. Are you sure that you don't want anything?”

 

“I'm sure.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Before he could turn on his heel, I spoke again. “Is there a mirror anywhere onboard?”

 

“No. Sailors don't care much about their appearances,” the commander said with a hearty laugh but he stopped when he saw my face fall. “If you're worried about how you look, don't. You're gorgeous.”

 

I knew that I was blushing. “Thank you but I won't be for much longer if I go through this entire trip without a mirror.”

 

“Well, I'm sorry your highness. My meager accommodations do not include a mirror, furs or chandeliers.”

 

I pursed my lips in slight embarrassment. “I'm sorry.”

 

He chuckled softly. “I'll check on you later, duchess.”

 

Upon his exit, I sank onto the cot and expelled all of the air from my lungs. I knew my life was about to change. For better or worse, I wasn't sure yet but I was willing to accept my fate either way.

 

“I'm sorry, Farrah,” I sighed before praying.

\---

It was just my luck that my stomach began to growl. I didn't want to go exploring for food in the unfamiliar setting so I just sucked in my abdomen underneath my corset and waited for the commander's return.

 

When he finally did, after what felt like hours, I was grateful that he was carrying a plate of bread and smoked meats from the market. I’d recognize the signature pattern that Mr. Jones pressed into his dough before baking it any day.

 

“I got this for you,” he said as he offered the food. “I knew you'd be hungry eventually and we try to stock up on food as much as possible whenever we stop into harbors.”

 

I took a lady-like bite of the mutton. “Thank you.”

 

The man nodded. “I'll let you eat in peace.”

 

“Wait,” I protested. “I...I feel better with you here.”

 

He smiled. “Well, that makes me happy to hear but I have a ship to set for sail.”

 

I fought the urge to pout. “Okay.”

 

“But as soon as we leave the harbor, I shall grace you with my presence once more.” I rolled my eyes and he howled in laughter. “Later, Duchess.”

 

The second that the man was out of sight, I practically inhaled the rest of the food. And when the ship began to move, I couldn't believe that it came right back up again.

 

“Damn it,” I groaned as I wiped my mouth. I laid onto the bed and closed my eyes and hoped that the nausea would pass. I thought of my father and hoped that he didn't hate me. I thought of my mother and prayed that if she was watching over me that she wasn't embarrassed to have me as an offspring. I couldn't bear the thought.

 

“Whoa, so it's true,” an unfamiliar voice said from the entryway of my room.

 

I quickly sat up and regretted it as another wave of nausea hit me.

 

“Will you be performing for us tonight?” he asked.

 

“I beg your pardon?”

 

“You’re Commander Daniel's dancing cousin, correct? Well, I mean you're the only woman aboard the ship, you have to be the one he's been talking about.” He enthusiastically rushed over to me and extended his hand.

 

I didn't accept the gesture. “What did the commander say?”

 

“He said you're his dancing cousin from Norfolk. Here to be onboard entertainment.”

 

“Umm, absolutely not,” I protested just as the commander entered the room.

 

“Lieutenant McCook, what are you doing in here?” he demanded.

 

“S-S-Sorry, sir,” the man stammered as he rushed out of the room.

 

“Onboard entertainment, huh?” I asked through nausea, confusion and annoyance. “Is that why you wanted me to come with you? What in bloody hell is going on?”

 

“No, no, no,” the commander rushed as he closed the door behind him to be discreet. “Yes, I told them you'd be onboard entertainment but only because it would excuse you being unfit to marry.”

 

My jaw dropped as I feigned dramatic taking of offense. The man was swift to continue in order to defend himself.

 

“If they simply see you as a dancer then none of them will viscously pursue and bother you. Of course, I couldn't say that you're already married.”

 

“Yeah,” I sighed. “And me being your cousin?”

 

“An added layer of protection. They _really_ won't bother you if they think you're a relative of mine.”

 

I flashed a half smile. “Why so much protection?”

 

He frowned. “Because you don't know how sinister these waters can be.”

 

It was the most serious tone I'd heard the man use since meeting him. I was slightly taken aback and that didn't help the nauseous.

 

“Are you okay? Despite the powder, you're looking a little green.”

 

“The...rocking…”

 

“Oh, don't tell me you're sea sick. That's sacrilegious.”

 

“I've never been on a ship before,” I grumbled.

 

The man extended his hand. “Well come on. You've got to walk around and get used to it or this entire week will only be miserable for you.”

 

I reluctantly accepted his hand as I scoffed. “Yeah, the onboard entertainment can't be ill.”

 

“I'm sorry,” he emphasized. “Would you prefer if I tell them that you're a lady of the night?”

 

I glared at him.

 

“Well then it was dancer or runaway spouse.”

 

I exhaled loudly. Partly because I was annoyed and mostly because I was fighting the queasiness. “Thank you, Commander Daniel.”

 

He flashed a goofy grin. “Come on. I'll give you a full tour and get you some ale for your stomach.”

 

Hand in hand, the man led me back to the deck that was now much less busy aside from a few occupied crew members. The commander slowly began to lead me towards the deck's edge but I protested midway.

 

“Oh, no. I'm sure to get sick again if I get any closer.”

 

“Good! Once you get that out of your system, you'll become immune.”

 

I shot him a short lived glare before obliging by slowing walking towards the thick wooden edge of the ship. The thunderous crash of the waves that rocked the vessel paired with smell of salt water made my eyes cross.

 

The commander gently rubbed my lower back and encouraged me to let it out but with a few deep breaths and reassuring words, I felt better.

 

“You okay?” he asked.

 

“Yes,” I said as I stared out at the vast sea.

 

“Beautiful isn't it?”

 

“Beautiful yet scary.”

 

“Beautiful enough to mesmerize men, powerful enough to take them all out with one swift splash. Mother nature is something.”

 

I couldn't think of a response as I felt the commander's eyes on me. I turned to look at him.

 

“Yeah, mother nature is something,” he softly repeated.

 

Before I could respond or even allow my body to react to the incredibly sensual moment, a man approached. With a wide brimmed hat, a tunic covered in dozens of medals and patches along with a stern expression let anyone know that this was the captain.

 

“Good afternoon, Captain,” the commander greeted.

 

“Introduce me to the entertainer,” he said arrogantly.

“Captain, this is Violet. Violet this Captain Jake Ludwig.”

 

I gave a small curtsy. “Nice to meet you, Captain.”

 

He didn't respond as he seemed to examine my face which made me overly nervous.

 

“I'm starting to feel sick again,” I said quietly.

 

“If we're done with introductions, Captain, I'll take my cousin,” he emphasized the kinship, “to the kitchen for some ale.”

 

“Hmm,” the man hummed as he continued to study me. “Cousin, huh? You sure? You look nothing alike. She's attractive.”

 

I felt so relieved that I became light-headed and the commander quickly became my support.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked, desperately panicked.

 

“Yes...just a little...dizzy,” I said weakly.

 

“Get her to the kitchen, commander!” the captain ordered.

 

The commander grumbled something under his breath that I couldn't make out despite being inches away from his face. He led me off of the deck, back through the wooden door and down the stairs. We went left instead of right this time and ended up in a quiet little kitchen that had a small stove, a wooden table with the capacity of four and dozens of ice boxes to keep what food that they did have fresh.

 

The man helped me onto one of the seats and fought the urge to laugh when my skirt stuck out several feet on each side. Now that I was out of the captain’s analytical gaze, I felt a lot better but I still accepted the ale that the commander offered me. He then sat on the opposite side of the table, placing a hand under his chin as he watched me sip.

 

“Do I have something on my face?” I sassed which always seemed to make the man smile.

 

“Yeah, beauty.”

 

I rolled my eyes and took another sip while he laughed.

 

“So what are your plans when you get to France?” he asked.

 

“I have no idea,” I admitted. “Sell my jewelry and see how much that gets me. Hopefully enough for a home and then go from there.”

 

The commander's expression told me that he hated the idea but he kept his thoughts to himself.

 

“What?” I pried.

 

“It's not safe for a woman to be on her own...without a husband.”

 

“Well it wasn't safe for me at home with a husband either,” I retorted as if it was actually true.

 

He sighed. “Fair.”

 

I smirked and he made a goofy face that made me giggle.

 

“This is going to be an interesting week.”

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

The man literally told me about it. He warned me of what to expect and how scary storms could be on the open sea, promising to have ale ready whenever I was feeling queasy. He then gave me the name of everyone onboard and introduced each of them to me before warning them to stay away. The way I watched him become more and more protective of me made me experience things and feelings that I'd never felt before.

 

“The Captain's quarters are the last door on the right and this carving here is just for decor,” he said as he patted the wooden mermaid’s head. “And that is the end of our tour, love. Any questions?”

 

“Have you ever been married?”

 

The man was taken aback. “I meant questions about this beautiful mermaid figure, woman!” he said jokingly before becoming somber. “No...I've never been married. I had a fiancée once but she left me for someone else after I didn't make her a priority over the sea.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Have you ever been marri- oh, wait,” he teased.

 

It earned him an eye roll and a gentle nudge on the arm. He seemed to enjoy the contact but I didn't want to push it.

 

A loud bell began to ring, seemingly in a pattern. It made the commander frown.

 

“What's that?” I asked.

 

“Trouble with the ship,” he said, clearly annoyed. The man quickly led me back to my room. “Stay here until I come for you.”

 

Although terrified over the possibilities of what could be happening, I trusted the man.

 

“Yes, sir, Commander Daniel.”

 

He smirked before scoffing. “You know, you can just call me Daniel.”

 

I wagged my finger. “The moment you dubbed me onboard entertainment is the moment I became a member of the Royal British Navy, therefore, I shall show you the respect that every other soldier on this ship shows you,” I said smugly.

 

His smirk turned into a soft, bottom lip bite. “The difference between you and them is-” he paused before he could say something that was indecent. “I'd respect you more if you didn't call me commander.”

 

“I only continued because you said it sounded pretty coming from my mouth,” I added, quickly becoming the indecent one.

 

The man bit down harder on his bottom lip but the continued blaring of the bell, that seemed to fade out for me the second the man smirked, finally regained his attention.

 

“I’d better go before we sink,” he exhaled. “Stay here.”

 

“I will,” I said breathlessly as I watched him turn on his heel and rush off. I closed the door and squealed as I pressed my back against the wood.

\---

It felt like hours that the man was gone. Maybe it actually was hours or maybe it just felt that way because I actually missed him.

 

 _Dear, God_ _,_ I began my prayer. _Why are you doing this to me? Why did I shun affections from my wife only to gain them for someone whom I can never be with?_

 

I buried my face into my palms and tried to understand just as a knock sounded at my door.

 

“Come in.”

 

All my woes seemed to melt away when the commander entered the room with a flat box in his hand. “Are you okay, Violet?”

 

“Yeah, just a little scared. What happened?”

 

“Just a minor leak in the storage area below. That's where we keep all of the important things so it was crucial that we made an emergency stop.”

 

“W-We stopped?”

 

“Yeah, at a small village to make quick repairs. How come? Are you having second thoughts about leaving Britain?”

 

“No,” I said honestly. “I just wanted to pick up a few things but I'll live...I suppose.”

 

He smirked. “Well, for what it's worth, while my beautiful Victory was being repaired, I thought about you.” The commander handed me the box and I was surprised by how heavy it was.

 

When I lifted the lid and saw the silver, handheld mirror, I fought the instinct to squeal and failed. The handle and surrounding metal holding the glass in place were overly ornate with perfect swirls and rose details.

 

“Oh, Daniel this is stunning! Thank you so muchhh.” I lifted the mirror out of its box and quickly began to examine myself. I nearly fainted when I saw that I'd sweated the majority of my powder away and my once perfect hair had begun to retaliate due to the humidity. I was mortified.

 

“Told you that you looked beautiful,” the man said from the doorway as he leaned against the frame.

 

“Either you're going blind or you're being extremely kind,” I grumbled. “I really wish that I'd packed clothing and makeup before running away.”

 

The commander smiled and I could tell that he wanted to say something.

 

“What?” I asked.

 

“Nothing,” he assured. “I just think you're the most beautiful thing I've seen since last winter's snow and the fact that you can't see it is a little amusing.”

 

I frowned.

 

“No pouting necessary. I just hope that you'll one day consider accepting one of my compliments. Especially since you finally called me Daniel.”

 

The corners of my mouth tilted upward and the man knew that he'd won.

 

“Is there anything else I can get you to make the trip more comfortable?”

 

“Oh no, you've done more than enough. Thank you.”

 

“Okay, well, I'll let my crew know that you won't be performing tonight because you're ill,” Daniel teased. “If you need food or ale or anything, just holler because I'll be nearby.”

 

“You will? I thought you had a ship to sail?” I taunted.

 

“A ship to sail, a woman to- mmm, nevermind. I'm a gentleman.”

 

I laughed before my face fell.

 

“What's wrong?”

 

“I...nothing. Go tend to your ship.”

 

“Are you sure you're okay?”

 

“It's just that...do you think I'll ever be able to find someone that truly loves me?” I asked with more layers than Daniel would ever know. “I'm still married…and whatnot.”

 

“And that was his loss. Just because he didn't appreciate you doesn't mean that you have to suffer for the rest of your life. You deserve real love and I know you'll find it.”

 

The warm and fuzzy things that I felt inside translated into a soft smile which made him smile. His smile caused me to blush and my blushing led him to bite down on his bottom lip. Before either of our bodies could react any further, he took a step backwards nearly tripping over his boots.

 

“As I said previously, I will, um...be nearby.”

 

“That's good to know,” I assured more lustful than intended.

 

The man cleared his throat. “Well, maybe not as close... I have a lot to do. I'll be sure to keep busy.”

 

“Okay, Daniel. But if I need anything I'll definitely be sure to holler.” I couldn't believe how effortlessly I purred and exuded sex.

 

“Thank you, Ma'am. That'd be very much appreciated,” Daniel practically wheezed out before exiting the room. He closed the door behind him and howled out like a wolf as he rushed down the corridor, leaving me on my own to laugh and work on my face.

\---

I tore the suede lining out of the mirror’s box and used it to blend the remaining powder on my face. I was able to salvage that along with a tiny bit of rouge. I had no idea how long the remnants of makeup would last or how long it'd be until I got to bathe again, but I was determined to make it all work.

 

After I was done, I returned my mirror to the safety of it's box. Besides the pearls in my hair and the jewelry that I wore around my neck, wrists and fingers, it was the only semblance of luxury that I had and I wanted to take good care of it.

 

“And because it was a gift from Daniel,” I quietly admitted to myself.

 

 _So when I get to France, do we go our separate ways?_ I somberly thought. _I know he'll spend a few days there as he completes his commander duties, stocks up on supplies and gets rest in a real bed, but what about when it's time to go? What will I do with myself? Will I feel safe in a brand new country all alone? Are there marital laws just like or even more strict than Britain’s? Will I be questioned about my imaginary abusive husband or will I be shunned because I don't have a husband like the other women?_

 

“Other women?!” I shouted as I remembered that I was a male. I couldn't believe how easily I'd begun to plan my life living as a woman. And deep down inside, it didn't bother me. I felt better with a hefty layer of powder on my face and a skirt on my hips. _But do I feel better as a woman as an escape from my life as a man or was Violet who I was always meant to be? I-_

 

My unruly thoughts were brought to a screeching halt when Daniel burst into the room. I jumped due to being startled, but I was instantly comforted by his presence.

 

“Are you okay?” the man breathlessly asked. “I heard you holler.”

 

“Oh! I'm sorry about that. I didn't need anything, I was just thinking out loud...very loud.”

 

Daniel exhaled in relief. “Bloody hell, woman. I didn't even know that I could run that fast until now. And I have to apologize to Johnson for knocking him over.”

 

“I'm sorry, Daniel,” I offered as sweetly as I could. It worked.

 

“It's okay,” he assured. “You know, I was just trying to keep my word and check on you if you hollered. It wasn't like I was ready at your beck and call or anything.”

 

I smiled. “No, I appreciate it. Busy man like you doesn't have time to wait around for a woman like me.”

 

I could tell that he wanted to drop the charade but it'd defeat the purpose of his testosterone driven declaration made moments ago.

 

“Yeah. That's right,” Daniel said with a nod. “But I can also make time for what I want to do as well. I control me,” he added.

 

“You're definitely in control, Daniel,” I replied, not realizing that it could be taken as an innuendo until the man bit down on his bottom lip. I quickly changed the subject. “Is there anything I can help you with? Maybe I can raise a sail or steer something.”

 

The professional commander in him instantly returned. “No woman would ever roughen her hands on my ship.”

 

“Well, I want to do something. I can't stand sitting in this room feeling useless.”

 

“Well, you've been on my mind all day. It's definitely keeping my morale boosted…” He pursed his lips. “My sincerest apologies for my comments and...why are you laughing?”

 

“Are you going to let me help or not? It seems like being out of my presence is making you a questionable leader,” I said, trying my hand at being manipulative.

 

The man went red in the face. “Pfft, I'll show you what a leader does! You can follow me to the deck right now.”

 

I grinned. “Lead the way, Commander.”

\---

Daniel led me back to the deck of the ship where he dismissed the soldier that was steering the helm before grabbing the handles.

 

“This is a state of the art vessel. She could practically steer herself but I like being one with her,” Daniel said smugly.

 

I made a face. “Oh, so this is why I was sequestered in that room. Should I leave you two alone?”

 

He scoffed before laughing. “Get over here, silly woman.”

 

I folded my arms.

 

“Do you want to be productive or not?” he demanded.

 

“I do,” I assured.

 

He beckoned me over and with a fast beating heart, I obliged. Daniel took a few steps back in order to give my skirt ample space to fit between him and the helm.

 

“What do I-” I began before stopping when the man gently grabbed my hands and led them to the handles of the dark oak steering wheel. “Wow,” I exhaled. It felt pretty amazing to have the entire vessel's power at my fingertips.

 

“Incredible, isn't it?” Daniel whispered in my ear.

 

“Yes,” I responded just as softly.

 

The man placed his hands over mine in order to keep us on the right track, but I highly doubt either of us cared about where we were going for the split second of bliss that we had before the sound of the captain's boots began to approach. I quickly dropped my hands from the helm and took three steps back.

 

Without his hat and powdered wig, I realized that the captain was younger than I'd previously thought; early thirties or maybe late twenties. He sported hair that was short, blonde and messy. He had a few wrinkles from the stern expression that seemed to be permanently plastered on his face but when he saw me, the captain's half smile was a shock. I was surprised that the man's face even had the ability to create an expression that wasn't a frown without shattering. Not having done anything to me besides be rude in our first introduction, the man simply made me down right uncomfortable.

“And how are you?” the captain asked.

 

“I'm fine.” My answer was too curt for his taste.

 

The man stopped in front of me. “When someone asks ‘how you are’, it's only proper to reciprocate.”

 

“My sincerest apologies, Captain. How are you?” When I said it, I actually did want to fight the sarcasm only because he was Daniel's superior.

 

“It's okay. Such behavior is only expected from a dancer.” He used the end of his extended binocular to lift my chin as if he didn't want to touch me with his own hands. “How'd you get such expensive jewelry? Wealthy 'employers’?”

 

I had two options: to be snarky or to be pleasant. Just to make sure Daniel didn’t regret bringing me onboard, I chose the latter. “My father gave them to me when my mother died.”

 

The man let out a soft hum before removing the wooden instrument from underneath my chin.

 

“She's only been dancing for a few months just to make a living since her father, my uncle, became ill,” Daniel added.

 

“And I don't believe I asked you a damn thing, commander,” the captain snapped back. “You brought scum on my vessel, I expect it to pay for itself.” He turned back to me. “You shall be showing my crew what you do for a living tonight, my dear.”

 

As I began to panic, the man turned on his heel and walked away.

 

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked Daniel. “I don't know how to dance!”

 

“Ssssshhh,” he urged. “You don't have to do much to entertain this bunch of men. Just spin and rustle your skirt.”

 

I pouted as I did my best to let his words ease my mind. “Is that it? Are you sure?”

 

“Yes and I'll be sure that it stays that way.”

 

When I frowned, he grabbed my hand.

 

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

 

“You're the only one on this ship that I trust.”

 

I could tell that the man wanted to act on his natural instincts and kiss me but he wouldn't dare do so in the presence of witnesses.

 

“Violet... I…”

 

“Be productive,” I said to tease.

 

He smiled. “I've never met a woman like you before.”

 

“Oh boy...you have no idea,” I sighed before turning to look out at the dark waves crashing around us. The water seemed to be singing to me, calling my name, beckoning me in. I slowly approached the side of the deck and gripped the wooden ledge. Had Daniel not been by my side within seconds, I probably would've jumped in.

 

“Helloooo,” he said as he waved a hand in front of my face.

 

“Hmm?” I hummed before slowly turning to look at him.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah...the water was just-”

 

“Calling you?”

 

“Yes,” I responded in disbelief. “How’d you know?”

 

“It's the siren's call.”

 

My nose wrinkled. “What's that?”

 

“When you hear the sound of your name being sung like a lullaby by the waves, it's almost like a curse or a possessive force that can't be stopped as it lures you into the icy waters. Some sailors think it's a myth but I've watched men jump to their death following it. And then again, some people think the men jump just from going insane from the long months at sea...but I believe in the siren's call.”

 

“So when you say siren, what do you mean? Mermaids?”

 

He nodded. I scoffed.

 

“What? You don't believe in them?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well I do. Mermaids, cyclops, Pegasus, I believe in it all. Hell, they must be real because I didn't know ethereal beauty existed until I saw you. It was almost like spotting a unicorn.”

 

I rolled my eyes so hard that it nearly made me dizzy. “If you aren't the silliest-”

 

“Whatttt? You're mythical, woman!”

 

He laughed but I let out a somber sigh. “You're right.”

 

Daniel didn't know what to make of my change in demeanor and swift exit towards the wooden door.

“Smith, man the helm!” he ordered as he followed me. When we made it to my room, I stood in the doorway and prevented him for entering. “What's wrong?” Daniel continued. “Did I say something wrong?”

 

“No, Daniel. You said all of the right things,” I sniffled. “And maybe if I was a different girl, I could appreciate it.”

 

“Wha-”

 

“I'm sorry. Just...I'm going to get ready to somehow perform for your crew tonight.” I couldn't make eye contact with the man. I wasn't brave enough.

 

“Okay,” he sighed but in that strong commander way that let me know that he hadn't given up on me. “Well, if you need anything, just holler.”

 

I nodded and retreated into the room.

\---

After spending God knows how long bawling my eyes out, I checked my reflection in the mirror and began to cry again. My makeup was now non-existent but I figured that I could substitute the loss of femininity by letting my hair down. I removed the trinkets and pearls from my head before releasing my tresses and letting the dark waves flow past my shoulders. Paired with the idea of pulling my full sleeves off of my shoulders in attempt to be sexy, I believed that I achieved what I was going for but the honest truth would be in the reaction of the commander.

 

I reluctantly opened the door and poked my head out. “Daniel!” I called before becoming nervous all over again and closing the door. A few seconds later, the man knocked once before entering.

 

I kept my back to him and pretended to be busy with my jewelry.

 

“Yes, Violet?”

 

“I...um, I'm sorry for my behavior earlier. I just wasn't feeling well.”

 

“You know you could've told me that. I would've done what I could've to help you feel better.”

 

“I know you would've but I'm not worth all of that.”

 

Completely fed up with my negative attitude, Daniel grabbed my shoulders and turned me so that I could face him. He froze and I did the same as I tried to assess his reaction.

 

“Unicorns are real,” he exhaled.

 

“I don't look like a goblin?” I self consciously asked. “It's just that I'm all out of makeup and-”

 

I was completely caught off guard, turned upside down and ready to risk it all when the man kissed me. Despite being the second kiss that I'd ever had in my life, I could tell that the man was amazing at it. My stomach lurched, my knees went weak and I wanted to cling to him but I decided to stay cautious. He grabbed my cheeks and gave my bottom lip a nibble in that way that he always did his own before kissing me again and pulling away.

 

“Would I kiss you like that if you looked like a goblin?” he asked.

 

“I don't know, Daniel. You believe in mermaids and you like-” when he began to laugh, so did I.

 

“You're beautiful, woman. That's it. Sorry that I had to kiss you to prove that point but I don't regret it.”

 

“Neither do I,” I breathlessly admitted.

 

He pulled away and took a few steps back. “So is that why you called me in here? Trying to seduce me?”

 

I cackled. “I'm ready to get this 'onboard entertaining’ thing done before I decide to join the sirens.”

 

The man scoffed at my joke. “All of the men are gathering for dinner now. That'd be a good time. And like I said, you don't have to do much just spin and rustle the bottom of the skirt.”

 

I challenged him by biting down on my bottom lip. “I don't have to do much or you don't want me to do much?”

 

“A bit of both,” he admitted. “These men would get excited to see the bottom of a woman's shoe after being cooped up in Victory for a few weeks. And I've sort of staked my claim on you, if you don't mind.”

 

I made a face just to taunt the man. “I'll let you know.”

 

Daniel bit down on his bottom lip as he backed out of the room. “Whenever you're ready, my dear. Just holler.”

\---

After taking a few more minutes to work up the nerve, I exited my room and made my way up to the deck where I quickly became overwhelmed by all the eyes that were on me including Daniel's and the discomforting glare from the captain.

 

The cheers and applause that I got helped a little, but I was at a loss for what choreography I could use. I made eye contact with Daniel who gestured for me to spin. I obliged and the men went crazy.

 

They created a steady beat by clapping their hands and stomping their feet while I twirled and rustled the bottom of my caged skirt. The men of the Victory ship were mesmerized by my every move and even the captain seemed to crack a half smile. Feeling more confident than ever without my makeup, I shimmied my shoulders before grabbing the hem of my skirt so that my shoes and a bit of pantaloon could show.

 

The crowd went wild. Too wild.

 

“Take it off! Take it off!” they began to chant.

 

I became red and flustered as I shook my head. “No.”

 

“But you're a dancer!” someone in the back shouted.

 

“Yeah, that's just one step down from a prostitute!” someone else added. Protests and overlapping voices began to grow louder.  

 

“She’s not taking her clothes off!” Daniel defended. “Either enjoy what she's doing or nothing at all!”

 

It was enough to shut them all up.

 

I took a deep breath and encouraged them to continue their hand clapping so that I could have a tempo to dance along to. I have no idea how long I danced for, but I enjoyed every second of being the center of attention as a beautiful woman and the money that was thrown at my feet when I was finished was the icing on the cake. I quickly collected my tips and made my way back to my room.

 

“Alright everyone, shows over! Get back to work!” Daniel shouted in the distance before joining me a minute later. “How are you?”

 

“I'm actually better than I expected,” I admitted. “Look how much money they gave me!”

 

Daniel pursed his lips as he nodded.

 

“What? What's that face for? Should I give the money back? Do you think they'll expect something sexual from me if I keep it?”

 

“No but they're going to expect you to keep performing.”

 

“Oh... I don't have a problem with that.”

 

“But you flashing your pantaloons isn't going to do anything but make them lust after you.”

 

“Daniel, people lusting after me is the least of my problems,” I assured with brutal honesty.

 

He frowned. “Violet, if they all come after you then I can't protect you.”

 

“I'll set boundaries. I'll tell them that I'm not a clean woman and I'm just here to dance and hopefully collect money because I'll need it once I get to Paris.”

 

I could tell that the man wanted to say something, but he held his tongue. I pushed myself off of bed and walked over to him in order to grab his hands. “Thank you for everything you've done for me. I never thought I'd have someone in my life that cared to protect me as much as you do.”

 

His smile was soft. “When you find a unicorn, you have to protect it from the wolves.”

 

It felt like the perfect moment to kiss him but I refrained.

 

“I'd better get going,” he sighed.

 

“Okay,” I said stoically so that he wouldn't know that I wanted to pout and beg him to stay.

 

“Later, duchess.” Daniel exited, closing the door behind him. The man was gone for what must've been two seconds before he was rushing back to kiss me. “I couldn't leave without doing that,” he exhaled.

 

“I wanted it but I didn't want to stop you from getting back to work.”

 

He looked me directly in the eye. “If you want something from me... _anything_ from me...all you have to do is holler.”

 

My loins began to ache. “Daniel, please.”

 

“Please?” he asked through desperately lustful eyes as he pulled me closer. “Tell me what you want.”

 

I could hardly focus with the man this close let alone speak as I stared into his bright blue eyes. “Um... I-I-I... I can't say the things that I want.”

 

“Why?” the man exhaled.

 

“We're cousins,” I feebly joked.

 

He ignored my attempts at humor and let his desire take over his rational thinking. “I want you.”

 

I gulped as my groin reacted to the declaration. “I want you too,” I admitted. “But I can't have you.”

 

“Is it because you're married?”

 

“Partly,” I said honestly.

 

“Well, I don't care that you're married. Your husband was a fool and now he's your past. I want to be your present and future.”

 

The man's words were effective in making my insides melt. The only thing I could do was whimper while he leaned in and officially claimed my lips as his.

\---

1 week later

\---

In my whole life, I never thought I'd get to go to France... I never thought that I'd only spend three nights there either. Maybe deciding to leave with Daniel instead of stay was the biggest mistake of my life but I didn't care. I was falling in love.

 

Stocked up on new clothes, makeup and jewelry per my lover's insistence, I felt like a royal when I returned to my room on Victory. Daniel had gifted me with silk sheets, fur pelts and crystal lamps. I sat and admired my own beauty in the gilded mirror before scenting my neck with the rose oil that I knew Daniel loved.

 

There was a knock.

 

“Come in,” I said softly.

 

Daniel entered and closed the door behind him. “Hello, my dear,” he greeted as he wrapped his arms around me. “Mmm. You're teasing me again.”

 

“How so?”

 

“You smell good enough to eat...but you won't let me do so.”

 

I didn't need rouge based on the bright red hue that took over my cheeks. “I'm not ready for any of that.”

 

He kissed my neck before looking up at the reflection of us in the mirror. “I know, I know. And I'm willing to wait for you.”

 

“I appreciate it.”

 

The man smiled as he bit down on his bottom lip. “I mean, the least you could do is show me your bosom butttt-” he laughed when I gave him a pinch. “I'm only teasing.”

 

I forgave him with a kiss. “So now that you've had wine with the French prime minister, where are we going?”

 

“Well it wasn't as simple as drinking wine, my dear. The prime minister did not agree to our terms and yeah...it didn't go well. I've never seen the captain drink so much.”

 

“Oh...I'm sorry.”

 

“No, it's fine. We don't need them as allies at this time. But to answer your question, we're going to the southern harbor then we're headed towards the Americas.”

 

I broke the embrace to turn to look directly at him. “We're going all the way to America?!”

 

“Yes, with plenty of stops in between.”

 

“Wow,” I gasped. “And then after that?”

 

“I’m not sure yet. Where do you want to get married?” he teased.

 

“I’m already married,” I quietly reminded.

 

“Nobody has to know. We can run away to a beautiful island together or come back to France. I know you loved it here.”

 

“I did.”

 

“So, you don't have to think about it now, but someday I want you to be Mrs. Commander Daniel Donigan.”

 

The truth stubbornly sat on the tip of my tongue and I wondered how long I could get away with my charade.

 

“How does that sound, my dear?” he asked when I failed to respond.

 

“I'd love it.” It wasn't a lie but thinking that it could actually happen was.

 

Daniel kissed me and I wholeheartedly accepted it.

 

“Will you be performing tonight?”

 

“Yes,” I said as if it was obvious. Over the past few days, I'd continued to dance and collect tips from the crew. My show had become the highlight of everyone's day and had quickly grown to include a fiddler for music and more provocative moves on my end. The more confident that I became, the more I revealed, pushing the limits of how far I could go without ruining the female illusion. Daniel hated it.

 

“And how much of your clothing is coming off this time?” he asked.

 

“As much as I want,” I sassed back.

 

“Okay…”

 

Before the man could turn to leave, I stood and wrapped my arms around him. “Don’t be upset with me. Getting to entertain here has been the only way I've gotten to express myself. You have no idea how good it feels to be celebrated as a woman...a beautiful woman.”

 

He looked down at me. “But isn't my love and attention enough? What does it matter what they think?”

 

I pursed my lips. “I guess you have a point. It just feels good. I... I have things about me that you should know and it would explain the way that I am and I want to tell you but I want to tell you at the next stop. I'm sick of being dishonest.”

 

He frowned and grabbed my hands. “Is everything okay?”

 

I shook my head. “I'm not who you think I am. If you really knew what you were getting yourself into, you'd hate me.”

 

“But I’m not perfect either,” he admitted. “As you let me into your world, I appreciate you more and more and hopefully you can do the same for me.”

 

 _How could I not love this man?_ “This is the last night that I'll perform. Then I'll tell you everything. And if you still love me, I want us to run away to that island.”

 

“To become Mrs. Commander Daniel Donigan?” he asked with glee.

 

“Something like that,” I said with a nervous laugh.

 

He kissed me anyway. “I'm so in love with you.”

 

Before I could express the mutual feelings, the captain barged into my room. “What the hells taking so long for the entertainment?” he demanded prior to taking another swig from the bottle of whiskey that seemed to be glued to his hand since leaving the meeting with the prime minister.

 

“I’m headed right up, sir,” I assured.

 

“Good. I'll be sure to be front row.”

 

Once the captain was out of sight, I unnecessarily stole a kiss from Daniel's lips. “I love you too. And not just because you buy me nice things.”

 

He rolled his eyes and laughed. “Well, get out there for your finale show, duchess. After that, you're all mine.”

 

We shared one final kiss before he left the room, and I followed shortly after. When I made it to the deck, I truly felt like the Queen of England by the cheers and applause that quickly filled the open air. With Daniel watching from the very back, I locked eyes with him, twirled, winked and to his chagrin, began to loosen my corset. Along to the beat of handclaps and the sweet sounds of the fiddle, I removed the corset just to reveal the even tighter laced corset underneath it.

 

The men aboard Victory went wild.

 

I tossed the corset into the crowd and the captain caught it. The way he placed the fabric under his nose and sniffed made me nauseous but I continued my performance as I rustled the frills at my chest, playing peek-a-boo with the men and my contoured breasts behind the cotton stuffed brasserie.

 

I could tell that Daniel wanted to protest but as promised, this would be my last performance and I wanted to go out with a bang. I did just that as I spun and tugged at my skirt. Hoping to reveal the second skirt that I had underneath it, I was mortified when I was left in nothing but my pantalettes and an embarrassed expression. I was utterly grateful that I'd always taken the time to tuck my manhood away behind two sets of skivvies, but Daniel's face as he approached to grab me while the men of his crew begged for more made me feel awful.

 

“And that's the finale,” Daniel hissed. “This show is over, everyone get back to your stations!”

 

Overlapping protests began to brew but the man protectively led me away. When we reached my room, I sat at the vanity while Daniel used pacing the small space as a way to address his anger.

 

“I'm sorry,” I offered. “I didn't mean for my skirt to come off.”

 

“I know. I'm more livid that they saw your horrified expression and continued to ask for more. The men aboard this ship are pigs and I want you to stay away from them. We'll be at the next harbor in a few days and then we'll run away.”

 

“Okay,” I exhaled.

 

Daniel flashed a half smile. “So now that I've seen you in nothing but your skivvies…” he said, trailing off suggestively.

 

“Commander Daniel,” I chastised.

 

The man chuckled and kissed me. “I'd wait a million years if you wanted. To get my hands on that tiny waist...to get my fingers tangled in your beautiful hair...to have my mouth over your-”

 

I jumped out of my seat and lustfully kissed the man while my hands did the busy work, desperately vying for his belt but he grabbed my wrists to stop me.

 

“What?” I breathlessly panted.

 

“Actually... I can't while you're still married to him. You have to be completely mine before we go... there.”

\---

5 seconds later

\---

Daniel groaned as he dodged the glass lamp that I lobbed at his head. “Calm down, woman!” he ordered.

 

“You got me all turned on just to say that shit! It was disrespectful and rude! And...and-”

 

“You said you weren't ready so what difference does waiting a few more days or even weeks make?”

 

My anger quickly dissipated when I, yet again, remembered that I wasn't a woman. “You're right. Daniel, I'm so sorry.”

 

“It's okay, my dear. I just want us both to be able to happily live our lives but not at the expense of not getting into heaven. If we commit adultery then we'd be sinners. I couldn't allow you to do that. We must stop letting the deadly sin of lust control us ”

 

The quick shift in my energy made the man confused. I fought my tears as I sat back down at the vanity.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah...I'm just tired.”

 

My voice came out so weakly that Daniel offered me something that he'd never offered before. “Okay, but you look upset. Do you want me to stay the night with you?”

 

I wanted to say yes. I should've said yes. “No, I'll be fine. I just...yeah, I'm tired.” He grabbed my chin in attempt to get me to look at him but I turned away. “Daniel, please,” I said, voice shaking like a leaf in the wind.

 

“Well, I'll check on you in the morning. I love you, Violet.”

 

I wish that I could've replied but I knew I would've burst into tears and never gotten the man out of the room so that I could drop to my knees and pray.

 

“Dear God, why are you doing this to me?” I demanded. “Why did you have that good man fall in love with me? I'm the worst kind of sinner! He should not be condemned for simply kissing me because... he didn't know. Would you condemn a man for falling in love with Satan in disguise? Satan in a corset,” I said before sobbing uncontrollably.

 

When my head began to hurt, I climbed onto my bed and quietly meditated in the fetal position. I was there for what felt like hours before I heard the soft calls of my name. I knew I'd been possessed or in a trance because I didn't care about the fact that I was barefoot or in my skivvies as I stood and slowly began to make my way towards the exit. I somehow managed to avoid stepping on any pieces of my shattered crystal lamp, making it out of my room and onto the deck. The brunette steering the ship didn't seem to notice my footsteps over the whistling wind and crashing tides beneath us.

I'd never been on the deck at night and the sheer darkness seemed to only enhance the melodic chants of the waves. The calls were growing more impossible to resist as it lured me to the Victory’s edge. I gripped the thick wood and was lifting my leg to climb over when someone snatched my arm to pull me to safety.

 

“What happened? What’s going on?” I confusingly got out before Captain Jake Ludwig was placing his lips on mine.

 

I pulled away but had I snatched any further, my dismembered arm would've stayed in the man's drunken grip.

 

“Why do you wanna jump, love? We haven't even gotten the chance to have a little fun,” he slurred as he glanced up at brunette at the helm. “Morgan!”

  
The man swiftly turned around and glanced at me then to the captain and back at me. Still a little confused and bewildered, something told me that Morgan would be my last chance of getting out of the Captain's grasp.

 

“Morgan, would you be a dear and escort me back to my room, please?” I breathlessly asked. “I'm feeling quite dizzy and I don't want to be a burden to the captain. He has much more important duties to tend to.”

 

Before the man could respond, the captain was countering my claims. “I need to have a private chat with the entertainer. Get to your quarters.”

 

Morgan seemed to know something that I didn't as his gaze on me turned sympathetic. He released the helm and quickly began to pace towards the wooden door.

 

“Morgan, please help me!” I desperately shouted.

 

The man stopped and he contemplated what to do.

 

“Disobeying a Captain's order is a treasonous act punishable by death!” the captain declared. “Get to your quarters and don't say a word!”

 

“I'm sorry,” Morgan said seemingly to the both of us before scurrying away. Once he was out of sight, the captain locked eyes with me and tightened his grip on my arm.

 

“Now, that we're all alone, I just need to remind you of the dangers of the seas. You nearly jumped but I saved you.”

 

I could have thanked him, but the man's presence triggered nothing but traumatic memories for me as I was hit with his whiskey coated breath.

 

 

The man's presence triggered nothing but traumatic memories for me as I was hit with his whiskey coated breath.

 

“Captain, let me go,” I pleaded. “You're hurting me.”

 

“Women like you deserve to be hurt a little. Showing your body for money...you're no better than a prostitute. And,” he hiccuped, “And I've paid you plenty for allowing you to stay on my ship, now it's time to give me something.”

 

I hated where the conversation was going. Despite feeling numb on the inside, I twisted, shoved and clawed my way out of his grip and bolted back towards the wooden door.

 

“Daniel!” I hollered in hopes that he'd hear me over the crashing waves before the captain gripped me from behind and covered my mouth with his filthy hand. I continued to struggle but his other hand found my throat. He didn't have to wrestle hard to get me to the ground and when he did, his palm against my windpipe was effective in cutting off my airway.

 

My new concern was breathing as I clawed at his hand in order to get some relief but it was useless. I turned my attention to his face and was able to scratch it hard enough to draw blood before he punched me.

 

“You damn, harlot!” he hissed. “You're going to give me what's mine!”

 

The captain punched me twice more. Already starved for oxygen, this nearly left me incapacitated. The man tugged at my pantalettes and became frustrated when he saw that I was wearing two pairs. He adjusted his body to sit on my legs to prevent them from flailing. With his left hand, he secured my throat while his other hand ripped into my second pair of skivvies.

 

To say that his eyes grew wide would've been an understatement. The man let me go so fast that I'm sure he thought I was a creature sent straight from hell.

 

“You-You-You disgusting an-animal!” he stammered out. “You were made from Satan himself!”

 

I wanted to speak and plead but my crushed windpipe didn't allow me to do anything but wheeze out in pain.

 

The fact that I was still breathing and had the audacity to look up at him seemed to set the captain off as the beet colored man quickly returned his hands to my throat. This time he was so forceful that I did my best to make any noise I could with the stomping of my feet while my hands couldn't help but make attempts to save my life. It was futile. My kicking slowed, my vision became blurry and my body grew numb.

 

You’d think that the captain would have stopped there, but I was clinging to life as the man pulled down his trousers and had his way with me.

 

“Disgusting abomination,” he grumbled when he  finished.

 

 _And what does that make you?_ I thought.

 

My question was answered when the man snatched off my necklace and anything else of value before he pulled out his dagger and began to plunge the blade into my body. He stabbed me in the groin, stomach and chest well over one hundred times before slicing my throat. Captain Jake Ludwig sealed the hatred deal with spit on my face prior to dragging my bloody, mutilated body to the bow of the ship. He pulled me up and, as if I was yesterday's trash, tossed me over Victory's edge.

 

As I sank into the freezing, black water, I couldn't help the dark humor that swirled through my mind. Had I stayed at home, it would've been my father disposing of me this way. At least he's family.

 

I always knew that my life would end like this. And for some reason...I didn't mind dying for the sake of being me.

 

The faint yet enchanting calls of my name returned. Paired with a hurricane of tiny bubbles that danced around me, I thought it was part of the process of my soul leaving my body.

 

_Please, God. I know that I'm a sinner, but I'm a sinner with a good heart. Please let me into heaven so that I can see my mother again. Amen._

\---

I gasped as my eyes flew open. Heaven was a lot darker than I'd imagined. I frowned and glanced around the blue abyss until I locked eyes with what I assumed was an angel. The word beautiful was an understatement as I searched for terms to justify the face that was topped with light brown hair which seemed to defy gravity as it moved on it's own. I couldn't discern the color of the abyss we were in from the eyes that stared back at me. Describing them was nearly impossible but it was like I could see everything and nothing all at once. His face lit up with excitement.

 

“It worked,” he said. “Charles, it worked.”

 

“Of course it worked,” an elderly voice said from over my shoulder.

 

When I turned to look, I realized that I was laying on a wide bed constructed of what I assumed was coral. My brain went into panic mode and I guess it showed on my face.

 

“Don't be scared,” the angel said to me as he approached in one fluid motion.

 

When I saw the iridescent turquoise tail that propelled him, my brain went into survival mode. I attempted to push myself off of the bed and run but I flopped over and began to sink in what I now knew was water.

 

“Oh God, Oh God,” I frantically got out as I attempted to get a grasp on space, time or reality. The concept of anything was lost on me when I glanced down and saw the iridescent blueish-purple, scaly tail that was attached to my body. At that moment, I knew I hadn't made it to heaven. I turned to look at what I now knew was a demon who seemed to be slightly amused.

 

“Why am I here?!” I demanded. “I prayed and repented and I didn't sin that much! I deserve to be in heaven!”

 

The demonic creature’s face fell. “What do you mea- oooh! You think that this is hell? You think that you're dead?”

 

“I'm either dead or having a nightmare!”

 

“Well... consider this a nightmare that you can't wake up from.”

 

I refused to listen to the demon anymore as I awkwardly moved about, trying to figure out the best way to get away. When I waved my arms and turned, I finally got a good look at the space which all seemed to be carved out of coral. The elderly demon who had a dull, grey tail was busy bottling things that I couldn't see from the distance before placing them on coral shelves. The space looked like a makeshift medical office.

 

Well they weren't going to dissect me. I turned as fast as I could and moved my body in any way possible to create some distance between us.

 

“Hey,” the young demon said, suddenly appearing next to me.

 

“No!” I shouted as I twitched and bucked and tried to go faster but I only began to tire myself out as I seemed to go in circles. “Do not dissect or eat me!”

 

The demon laughed. “If only mermaid was on the menu today. I'm not a cannibal.”

 

“Mer-Mermaid?” I stammered as I remembered Daniel's superstitions.

 

“Yes. That's what I am...that's what you are now. I know it's a bit of a shock at first but you have time to get used to it...you have nothing but time down here,” he said somberly.

 

I glanced down at my tail again before feeling my chest which was bare. So used to being a woman, I quickly covered myself for modesty. I could feel that my hair was freely flowing in the water and I knew that makeup was impossible in this situation. After all, this was hell.

 

“But mermaids aren't real,” I said quietly as I looked down at my tail again.

 

“I thought the same thing,” the other replied. “But in the end, I was grateful that they were.”

 

“No, no, no,” I said stubbornly. “You're not real! I'm having a nightmare and hopefully I'll wake up soon so that Daniel and I can run away together.”

 

The alleged mermaid wrinkled his nose. “Who is Daniel?”

 

“None of your business, demon!” I shouted before attempting to take off yet again but the struggle of this nightmare was real.

 

“You remember being a human? Just imagine that you're still a human but your legs are tied together. That's the easiest way to learn how to swim.”

 

I didn't want to take the creature's advice but I wasn't sure if I had a choice. I waved what used to be my legs in one fluid motion and smoothly went forward.

 

“See? That was much better,” the demon praised.

 

Now that I had my chance to get away from him, I glanced around and saw nothing but blue abyss for what looked like miles in every direction. I decided to humor this nightmare. “So...this is the ocean?” I skeptically asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

“And you are a mermaid?”

 

“Merman,” he corrected. “But yes.”

 

“And I am not dead?”

 

“You would've been...but I saved you,” the creature said quietly.

 

My eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

 

“I saw you sinking...there was so much blood and your heartbeat was faint but...it was enough. Whoever did that to you was a putrid individual.”

 

I felt my body go numb all over again. “What do you mean you saved me? What is this?!” I demanded, quickly forgetting that I was supposed to be forcing myself to believe that this was just a nightmare.

 

“I don't know! I'd heard the legends but I didn't know if they were true. I tried it on you and now we know.”

 

“So what now? Am I supposed to live the remainder of my years like this?”

 

The creature pursed his lips. “Mermaids are immortal.”

 

At that, I laughed in disbelief. “This is such a stupid dream. I'm going to find a way to wake myself up now. Goodbye, demonic merman.” With the swim tips in mind, I did my best to get away as fast as I could.


End file.
